Monday, February 15, 2010

The City of Sisterly Love

As much as I believe that I'm going to have to move as far away from Los Angeles as I can if there is ever any hope for me to find love, there are other reasons that make me think this is the greatest city in the world. Life's not only about romance anyway. Or at least that's what I keep telling myself.

I made my Valentine's Day plans a month in advance. There is nothing worse than the impending explosion of red velvet hearts and white fuzzy bears and diamond commercials on the television every 15 minutes when you know that you will not be on the receiving end of any of that shit. Rather than worry about whether or not I'd be able to lock something down with someone (anyone) by the big day, I felt it saftest to preemptively make non-romantic plans with a bunch of people that might also have that night free. Lucky for me, I was able to lock in a solid bunch!

So 8 of us painted our faces, put on some frills and met up at The Grove for a 7pm showing of that shitty romantic comedy (?) called Valentine's Day (how appropriate!) featuring every single actor that has been in any film for the last 15 years. We were 15 feet out of the parking structure and into the mall before we saw our first celebrity sighting:

He literally was sitting in the most public spot in the entire mall. On a major holiday. At first I thought it was irritating because I assumed he just wanted attention (MORE attention than he already gets) but then I decided that it was his little Valentine's Day gift to the shoppers of The Grove. Whether it was his intention or not, he was something exciting for us to talk about, and it made our day seem more glamourous. Sadly, he was wearing clothes and was on a date with some girl that wasn't me, but I'll take what I can get. A sighting is just fine.

The show was sold out and we were saving seats for the second half of our party before the movie started and every single person that came into the theatre asked us if the seats were taken, annoying. At one point this old lady came up behind my friend and asked her if she could sit in the seats next to her and, annoyed, she told the old lady the seats were taken, forcing this old lady to split up from her equally geriatric husband (on Valentine's Day) and sit alone in the special little isolated handicap chair right by the exit. Once she realized that this lady would have would have to sit on the opposite end of the theatre as her husband on this romantic day, my friend felt like a royal heel. Especially when we all realized that the old lady was this person:

The movie was terrible, as expected. But it was the kind of bad that was so ridiculous that it was almost comical in its own, unintentional way, so none of us left the theatre feeling like we wasted any money. Then we darted over to the restaurant where we promptly began to shove our faces full of anything containing sugar, alcohol or fat until the restaurant manager literally had to come up and tell us it was time to leave.

By the time I got home, I was stuffed, sleepy, and totally without the feeling that I was missing out on anything this Valentine's Day. If I had to do it again, I would pick the same people to spend it with. Los Angeles may not be a good place to find love, but the friendships and celebrity sightings and delicious food more than make up for that. Romance is for suckers, anyway.


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