Thursday, February 18, 2010

This Message Will NOT Self-Destruct!

I was digging through the trash in my email inbox today looking for any promotional codes from that I had immediately written off as junk (up until now) and deleted --- I'm purchasing biotin so my hair grows faster than one fucking inch per year --- and I came across a dinosaur of an email from my first L.A. love. The trash box in Gmail lies, btw, because it told me that any messages left in there after 30 days would be automatically deleted, and this email was sent 4 years ago.

I wasn't really prepared for the sneak attack from the past, but my curiosity got the better of me, so I opened it. When I saw that I recognized the subject of the email, my heart started to beat a little faster. I don't have romantic feelings for this guy at all anymore --- we're totally friends, we just never make out or anything --- but it still sorta stung to see it. Probably just because it was another reminder that I can't seem to lock things down in the romance department; my smug little inbox was rubbing my failures in my face! I (reluctantly) opened the email and read its contents and it was sweet and charming and everything I remembered it to be. No wonder I liked that guy!

I thought about his words, and how he meant them at the time, and how they completely made my world when I first read them. I read the email at least 10 times and tried to imagine how I would respond to someone if I received something like that now.

Reading the email over and over was like torture, so I closed out (after I moved the email from the trash and back into my active inbox for safe-keeping) and went back to my trash box to continue my search for vitamin coupons. No luck, btw --- I totally paid full price.

I've sort of had romance tucked away in the back of my mind these days, but seeing that email brought it back up to the surface for a little bit of my afternoon. I don't miss the whole crapshoot Los Angeles dating scene one bit, but I kinda miss being in love.
This photo was attached to the email:

Why can't my hair be that long now?!?


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