Thursday, February 4, 2010

Riding on the Metro (oh-oh)

I don't really like bringing this guy up anymore (he's not even relevant), but this morning I thought there was a sighting and I had quite a scare. I was 35 minutes into being awake for the day, sitting on the 333 eastbound, when we stopped at Venice and Overland.

There are always a bunch of people waiting to get onto the bus at Overland. So many, in fact, that Overland is the stop where I decide to actually scoot over to the window so someone (hopefully someone clean - - - I've already given up on the dream of someone attractive sitting next to me on the bus) can sit down. If I didn't let guilt get the best of me, I would stay put and leave the window seat vacant, leaving me to sit without any neighbors, and some poor fool to grab the bar and stand until another seat becomes available. But I always cave at Venice and Overland.

Anyway, a bunch of people start crowding onto the bus and I'm halfway watching and then I see something that makes my stomach drop to the floor: The Comedian. I swear to you, from where I was sitting, this person was a dead ringer. Same height, same build, same hair, same nose, same EVERYTHING. I panicked. I didn't know what to do or where to go. I honestly wanted to open up the window and jump out. The bus wasn't going that fast, anyway...minimal damage.

Then I realize that the only seat left is the fucking one next to me and I start to panic more. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE, I thought. Never did it occur to me that it would be totally strange for him to be on the same bus - - I'm one of the only people I know that takes the bus - - as me. Especially not at the same time and going to the same place. But I didn't have time to think about this stuff. I only had time to freak the fuck out. So the dude comes up and sits next to me and I realize that it's not actually him. Holymotherofjesusthankgod.

As far as DNA goes, he's gotta be only like one genome away from The Comedian's actual genetic makeup. Maybe The Comedian has a brother, who knows. All I know is that he has got the most extreme doppelganger in the world out there, and that dude scared the shit out of me by sitting next to me on the bus this morning. Not funny at all.


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