Tuesday, December 22, 2009

FML.

I was riding the bus to work this one time and this enormous tranny got on at the same time as me. She was fabulous. About 6 feet tall, black, draped head-to-to in orange chiffon, with 3 inch talons to match. She sat directly in front of me. I was thrilled. I desperately hoped that someone I knew would be driving alongside me and see what amazing seats I got for this show. She then proceeded to do one of the grossest things I've ever seen a human do in public. She opened a can of tuna, scooped it out of the can with her bright orange claws, and sucked the morsels off as if she were a 5 year-old eating black olives off her fingertips. That wasn't even the worst part. What got me was that she was wearing an enormous wedding ring. That fucking bitch found someone to love her forever and I'm still combing through emails from psychopaths on my online dating profile.

3 comments:

CM said...

I think the most worrisome part of the whole scenario is the fact that you were riding a bus in LA.

articulicious said...

Haha! I love the bus! I haven't had a car in 2 years!

CM said...

I haven't had one in 6 years so I can't really talk. Although must get one for CA as I feel that is one of the major benefits of moving back. Over half a decade of public transport in London has me yearning for the privacy of singing G N' R from the top of my lungs while driving!

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