Thursday, January 21, 2010

Pearl of Wisdom #3

When making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, always use the knife for the peanut butter first. Then wipe the knife off and dive into the jelly. Never put a jelly-covered knife into the peanut butter, it leaves a big mess inside the jar, and creates tension among the peanut butter purists.Peanut butter is, normally, community property and not everyone loves jelly. Those with peanut allergies are treated so delicately, but what about the people that have jelly allergies? Ok, maybe not allergies, but what about jelly aversions? Don't those people have any rights?

While we're on the topic of community eating regulations, please never (EVER) reheat fish in a shared space. Nobody wants to be hotboxed by the smell of fish while they're trying to work/eat/live. On a similar note, stop making popcorn in the office. The smell of popcorn, if cooked properly, makes people irrationally hungry, thus causing people to become irritable. If cooked improperly, the burnt smell permeates every molecule in the shared space, thus causing people to want do a jack knife off the top of the building.

Knock this shit off, people.

2 comments:

Chris said...

Peanut butter and jelly... on the same bread??

WHAT????!!???

articulicious said...

Hahaha I know exactly which voice you were using when you said that. xo

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